At a talk on self-defense in Munich, where I was stressing the importance of trusting your intuition and taking action, a question came up during the Q&A: “What if you freeze?”
Let’s explore this.
I had been explaining that there are precursors and warning signals before any self-defense situation. These warning signs show up as intuitions, like hunches, gut feelings, or even fear. Everyone experiences these intuitions, but many people aren’t sure what to do with them. They might feel uneasy about a person or situation, but instead of doing something, they do nothing—hoping the feeling will pass. But that’s not a good self-defense strategy.
Here’s the key: intuition is a signal to take action. It’s your body’s way of saying, “Do something!” But people, although this response is completely natural, often ignore it due to societal norms of being nice or polite. Think about what any animal would do when it perceives a potential threat. It immediately becomes alert, assesses the situation, and takes action—whether that’s running away, confronting the threat, or staying vigilant until it feels safe again. Humans, however, tend to ignore their feelings, even when they know something’s off.
Remember: your safety is more important than being perceived as rude or hurting someone’s feelings.
You’ve probably heard of the “fight or flight” response. It’s your body’s automatic reaction to a perceived threat, causing an increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and muscle tension. As the name suggests, your body prepares to either run or fight. However, in the ’90s, a third response—“freeze”—was added to the list.
Here’s how I see it: while the freeze response is natural, it often happens due to inaction, either in the moment or as a habit. Let me explain. When facing a potential threat, your body warns you with an intuition. The strength of that intuition depends on the severity of the threat. If the perceived danger is low—say you’re in a crowded place, and a strange man asks you for the time—you may only feel suspicion or hesitation. If the danger is high, like being alone in a dark alley and suddenly facing a masked man with a machete, you’ll likely be overwhelmed by fear. In the second case, the freeze response is more likely due to the shock factor.
What do I mean by “in the moment” or “as a habit”? The machete-wielding masked man scenario is extreme. While it’s possible, it’s also very unlikely. What’s far more probable are smaller precursors: you notice shadows moving in the distance, hear strange noises behind you, or feel like something’s off. In fact, just being alone in a dark alley should heighten your alertness. So, did you take action on those signals? If you did, you’d already be somewhat prepared, and the shock factor wouldn’t be as overwhelming. This would reduce the chances of freezing in a dangerous situation.
“In the moment” means acting on your intuitions early. Don’t wait for them to become overwhelming. Any intuition requires action—the earlier, the better. For example, if you hear a strange noise, turn around and check it out instead of pretending it’s nothing. The uneasy feeling will then adjust based on the situation: no danger, and you’ll calm down; danger, and the feeling will intensify. Either way, you’ll know. If you do nothing, the feeling will linger, leaving you uncertain about whether it’s justified. By not taking action when it’s easy, you dramatically increase the chances of freezing later.
“As a habit” means getting into the practice of acting on your intuitions. And remember, your intuitions align with the perceived danger. Weaker intuitions—like a feeling of suspicion—are much more common in everyday situations that aren’t dangerous. Practicing acting on those signals, even when the stakes are low, will help build the mental muscle and confidence needed for more serious situations. You’ll be training yourself to act instinctively.
In essence, trusting your intuition and acting on it—essentially setting boundaries—is the most important thing you can do for your safety. The key is doing this not only when you feel threatened (which is rare), but also in everyday situations when it’s easier. This is how you truly prepare yourself for more serious self-defense situations. Plus, by practicing these habits, you’ll become more confident and assertive. You’ll naturally start getting more of what you want in life. And as you improve yourself and become stronger, not only will you be more prepared to handle threats, but they’ll also become much less likely.